One of my friends posted something today that jarred me out of my carefully constructed comfort zone.  She wrote about how she used to hide her struggle with depression, but after thinking about how our society stigmatizes depression, she decided to ‘come out’.

Wow.

I thought, “Good for her, but I’m never doing that.  No one is ever going to know how many times I had to talk myself out of bed in the morning; or how many times I stood in front of my fridge with a fork, because that just sounds crazy.”

Ha.  See? I was a victim to exactly what she was trying to change.  Even I think that ‘depression’ is lame and that you should just buck-the-fuck up and get on with it.   How many people who struggle with this condition feel the same way?  How many of us are there, suffering silently because we are to embarrassed to admit that we really feel bad sometimes?  I was going to write “feel bad that we just can’t cope”, but the truth is that we do cope – every day.  Sometimes it is just harder than other days.

Sigh.  I wrote to her and thanked her for her strength and honesty – and I told her I wasn’t ready to be that strong yet.  That email was my first step at publicly claiming my depression.

This is my second.

Unheralded simplicity. Unsurpassed utility. These are a few things that I love to think about — things that are simple, inexpensive and revolutionary. I’m easy to please, and love to consider the impact of seemingly mundane items on human life. Like the ubiquitous wheel, certain things are now taken for granted, and yet, I couldn’t imagine our world without them. Here are a few:

• Pencils. Think about what they actually consist of and how elegant the design is, and all for about 20 cents. I prefer them to pens because they don’t explode in the bottom of any and every bag, and you can erase your mistakes. Could you make one if you needed to?
• Stamps. You can stick a stamp on a letter and send it off to California — and just a few days later, as if by magic, it arrives. I know email is instant and technologically impressive, but the humble stamp impresses me. I also like the fact that you can send a letter across the country for the same cost as a bill across town.
• Newspapers. Again, I know the internet has killed the newspaper, but think about all of the information and news and entertainment you can buy (and carry around with you!) for about 35 cents. No power cord, no wi-fi, no hassles.
• Google. Ok, in a nod to the 21st century – I had to add this. I love Google. It’s free, easy and somewhat reliable. But more than that – it is instant information gratification. I used to read encyclopedias for fun as a child (that’s a separate blog entry), so Google appeals to my need-to-know mentality and my love of learning.

There is so much about this political climate that I am sick and tired of, but little gets me going like the Libertarian and conservative rant about “government intrusion” into our lives.    According to their party platform (found on their website at www.lp.org/issues), Libertarians are “caring” and “people-centered”, and want to limit taxes so that you can keep and control your own money.  Never mind that most well-off seniors elect to take Social Security, notwithstanding their income level.  How many Libertarians come from the lowest rung of our economic sector?

Never let your five year old daughter pick out your hair color: she has a distorted perspective of you, and sees you as part superhero and part movie star.  She will think it perfectly appropriate that you have fire engine red hair, a drugstore color aptly named “Hot Tamale”.   She will think you look cool, and will not notice the stares from strangers, the rolling-of-the-husband’s-eyes or the raised eyebrows from the PTA moms.  Maybe that’s a good thing.